Scrubby

What happens if you boil a funny bone? It becomes a laughing stock. Haha, that’s humerus.

#laughter

How do you hide a dollar bill from a hospitalist? Put it under a surgical dressing.

How do you hide a dollar bill from a general surgeon? Put it in the chart.

How do you hide a dollar bill from a plastic surgeon? You can't.

How do you hide a dollar bill from a pediatrician? It doesn't matter where you put it, they won't find it anyway.

How do you hide a dollar bill from an ophthalmologist? Put it on an inpatient on the weekend.

How do you hide a dollar bill from an obstetrician? Put it on the patient's head.

How do you hide a dollar bill from an orthopedic surgeon? Put it in a textbook.

How do you hide a dollar bill from a neurosurgeon? Put it on their kid's forehead.

#laughter

A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests.

The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings:

-"This is your doctor. We’ve got the results back from your tests, and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus that is extremely contagious!” 

-“Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, Doctor?” 

-“Well, we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and quesadillas.” 

-“Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully. 

-The doctor replied, “No… but it’s the only food we can get under the door.”

#laughter

I don't know...I don't know. Can't hold it back anymore!!