Laughter
How do you hide a dollar bill from a hospitalist? Put it under a surgical dressing.
How do you hide a dollar bill from a general surgeon? Put it in the chart.
How do you hide a dollar bill from a plastic surgeon? You can't.
How do you hide a dollar bill from a pediatrician? It doesn't matter where you put it, they won't find it anyway.
How do you hide a dollar bill from an ophthalmologist? Put it on an inpatient on the weekend.
How do you hide a dollar bill from an obstetrician? Put it on the patient's head.
How do you hide a dollar bill from an orthopedic surgeon? Put it in a textbook.
How do you hide a dollar bill from a neurosurgeon? Put it on their kid's forehead.
A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests.
The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings:
-"This is your doctor. We’ve got the results back from your tests, and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus that is extremely contagious!”
-“Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, Doctor?”
-“Well, we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and quesadillas.”
-“Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully.
-The doctor replied, “No… but it’s the only food we can get under the door.”
A Short History of Medicine: "Doctor, I have an ear ache."
2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 A.D. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"
